71 Why do we think we have to be superhuman?

71 Why do we think we have to be superhuman?

Hi, how are things?

Well, it has been a while since I have written a blog so it is good to be back.

In my January blog, I shared my plans with you about how I was shaking things up. I talked about my new newsletter that would be going out and about the two programmes that I would be launching in February. It was all very exciting and I was really looking forward to what the month had in store.

The reality is that I have not written a blog in 5 weeks, I have not launched any programmes and my newsletter has not gone out either. In fact, I have made very little progress on any of the ambitions I had for the start of 2019 and it certainly feels that my New Year came in with a whimper rather than a bang.

Is that just me being lazy?

This is the question I have been asking myself for most of the past 6 weeks.

I am generally a very healthy person. I have lots of energy and I think I am invincible. I have multiple things on the go at the same time. I enjoy launching new projects and I have high ambitions and expectations of myself.

On New Year’s Eve, I started to feel unwell and thought I was getting the cold that had been doing the rounds before Christmas. Over the next few days it turned into a flu virus and I developed a cough that left me choking for breath. I accepted that for a couple of days I would be feeling under the weather and fully expected to bounce back quickly.

However, I didn’t.

I ended up taking a couple of days off sick and then decided in my head that I had given myself enough time taking it easy and I would just push on through. Things did not improve and I found myself dragging myself out of bed each day feeling unwell and just pushing and pushing and trying to keep going. I didn’t want to do anything, I had no energy and I just did not feel myself. The virus that I had was relentless and kept on. It was fighting to knock me off my feet and I was fighting not to give in.

The reality is that the virus lasted far longer than it should have done. It took 5 weeks for me to feel back to normal.

During that time, I kept beating myself up because I didn’t want to do anything. I constantly questioned whether I was being lazy, whether I was being over-dramatic or whether I was losing interest in the goals I had been setting for myself.

The truth is, I had been pushing too hard, taking on too much, not looking after my health and then not allowing myself the time to recover when it all finally caught up with me.

I am sure that you can relate to this.

We think we have to be superhuman. We think it is weak to admit that we are not feeling our best or to admit that we just don’t feel like doing something. We think we will be viewed differently if we admit any kind of vulnerability. We think we have to do it all and not have any flaws.

This is what January has taught me…

It is ok to surrender. When your mind, body and body is spirit is telling you to slow down and re-charge, it is ok to do it. It is not the end of the world. Being comfortable enough to surrender to the challenge that you are facing enables you to recharge and come back stronger and generally learn some valuable lessons that will serve you well in the future.

In hindsight, I wish I had taken a few more days at the beginning of January to take the time my body needed to heal instead of thinking I had to get up, show up and push on. My behaviour didn’t make me stronger, it made me weaker. By not surrendering when I needed to, I have taken longer to heal and it means I have battled with my OWN issues about being perceived as ‘weak’. Nobody would have thought less of me if I had been honest enough to say I needed some time to recover. The only pressure on me was FROM me.

Everyone has ebbs and flows. There are times when we can keep pushing and we feel energised and on top of things. There are other times when we don’t. In those times, the best thing we can do is be honest about how we are feeling and lean in to it. Think about the things you can do to lift yourself back up and make time to do those things. If having a box set binge enables you to re-charge your batteries, then have the box set binge. Do not feel guilty for it. Life is all about light and shade; ebbs and flows.

Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is healthy. As we approach Valentine’s day, the day of love, why not share some of the love with yourself? I can’t tell you how many women I coach who think it is selfish in the extreme to focus on their own needs. Yes, as women we generally have a lot of demands on our time with careers, family, partners etc. Life can be manic. Self-care does not have to be about day trips to the spa (although this is GOOD), it can just be about finding a few precious moments every day that are dedicated to you and the things that bring you joy. It can be as simple as listening to music that you love, having a bath or just sitting in peace and quiet for a few precious minutes and focusing on your breath.

I write this not only to remind you but also to remind myself that it is OK to not be ok. It is ok to focus on your needs. It is ok to not be on top of your game every minute of every day. It is ok to surrender. It isn’t weakness. It is strength.

Until next time

 

 

 

ps My newsletter will now launch in March along with my new programme Life Magic. I believe the delay was meant to be and that March will be an amazing month to launch these new offerings and the extra time I have had will mean they are even better than before! If you would like to receive the new newsletter when it launches, you can join my mailing list HERE

 

 

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